Doubts
In just over six weeks I will be walking part of the Camino de Santiago de Compostela. I am starting to have some doubts about my ability to complete it. I worry about holding people up, letting others down. Although I walk regularly, I am wondering if I will be able to walk 150km in a week. I did it before, without major difficulty and surprisingly, my feet were in exactly the same state—ie not perfect—at the end of the walk as they had been at the beginning. Those feet are now two years older and have walked an additional 6000km. The body, that those feet are carrying, has aged. Its joints are more worn, organs more strained.
To spur me on, when I walk, I am aiming to raise money to help to maintain the building of the church and its attached library, both of which rely totally on donations for their upkeep. I don't want to disappoint anyone who has made a donation in my name but more importantly, I don't want to let myself down.
I must have confidence in myself. I am sure that if I put my mind to it, I will succeed.
Changing the subject, one thing that I am having difficulty getting used to in France, is the electricity supply. I had to request an increase in the supply to the apartment, after the new kitchen was completed because the system fused several times when I tried to use a kettle with the light on (slight exaggeration). The supply was increased (and obviously the cost) and now I can use more of the appliances at the same time but have had to adapt to the fact that I can't use the tumble drier if I am cooking dinner with the television on; or use two rings on the hob and the oven, if the heating is on.
It's not the end of the world and, as I get used to it, the coupures d'électricté are becoming less frequent. At least I learnt very early on, about the workings of the fuse board and the necessity of keeping my phone near me in case I need a torch...
On a brighter note:
Last Saturday, there was a queue outside the church door, twenty minutes before the Kermesse was due to start and after the initial rush, there was a steady stream of customers all afternoon. The whole event was a huge success, very enjoyable and full of goodwill— we raised over 3000€.
The jewellery stall was very popular, the marmalade competition fiercely contested and when I wasn't manning the book stall I checked out the baked goods (my shortbread sold well)
We were all pretty exhausted afterwards but that didn't stop several of us walking from Perinaldo to Baiardo the following day. It was cloudy and a bit muddy following the recent rain but it felt good to be walking after all the standing, lifting and carrying of the previous two days.
I climbed to the ruined church at the top of the village, but the view was limited!
I am not sure whether it was the mosaic in the station cafe or the bright sunshine, that brought the murals on the buildings in Olivetta to my attention. I have visited several times and not noticed them before.
Da Bruno, the shop that sells olive oil and other local produce was (for once) open and served the best cappuccino that I had ever tasted.
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Here's what I've just read, another author I've just come across. An alternative history of Norah Barnacle, James Joyce's wife, the book has led me to download The Dubliners by James Joyce onto my kindle - my next read.
I found a few words that I wrote about confidence several years ago. After voicing my doubts and my need to have confidence in myself, I thought that would share it.
Confidence is like bubble gum
Confidence fools you,
A trickster, it pushes you on,
Carries you forward, lifts you up.
But take care. Too much confidence,
And no foundation, it will burst,
Like a bubble-gum bubble
All over your face.
Happy Easter Everyone!
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Very good
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